How can we help young people become more resilient? We have all heard some the statistics but you only have to think of a person whose child is in their teens or twenties and is ill with anxiety, 100% of their heart is broken and that is the only statistic that really matters. The world has changed and poor mental health is on the rise, why?
Here’s a big factor, our culture tells young people that God is not real, his will does not matter, and that they must construct their own identity and set of values. The spiritual scaffolding that has sustained people over centuries has been removed. Sure, other factors are important, but we can’t overlook this one.
What we have instead are techniques like mindfulness and stress management. These are helpful, but Jesus said that a unique peace is available to those who trust him (John 14:27). The gospel offers psychological wellbeing that anyone can access first by trusting it and then by living it out.
The apostle Paul writes about this clearly in Romans 5:1-5. Access into God’s grace, he says, is the fruit of trusting Christ (v.1-2). The gospel re-connects us to the God who is there. We really do have an almighty Father we can lean on. We can put the weight of our life and our worries on him. The gospel puts the scaffolding back in place.
In the public mind, and in that of many young people, faith in God nurtures guilt because God will always demand more than we can give. The gospel says the opposite, faith brings freedom from guilt. The moment we trust Jesus we are ‘justified’; that means righteous, clean as a whistle, accepted without reservation, loved despite all our faults!
That is the first big thing about the gospel, here is the second. Trusting Christ is not a once-for-all event in our lives, it is the means by which we navigate all our troubles (3-4). Paul is telling us that suffering is one of the tools God uses to reshape my character and make it more like Christ’s. God has a purpose, and nothing – however horrible – is random. Adversity is the way to resilience.
You see this when Paul told the Corinthian church about his own psychological challenges, ‘…this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead’ (2 Corinthians 1:8-9). In other words, whatever caused Paul’s mood to plummet into despair the answer was to shift his trust from himself and onto God. That is how we can get through anything.
Some practical points might help focus our pastoral care.
First, nagging people to ‘have more faith’ won’t work. Faith comes by hearing God’s word, and it is therapeutic to dwell in it listening to his voice. Take a month or two to soak up Psalm 103 for example, learning to meditate on it as you go.
Second, listen without interrupting. Encourage, and support, reassuring people that whatever happens their life is in God’s hands. We can even help people to see that their anxiety or low mood is part of a plan, they will be stronger and happier when they learn to live with it, manage it, and eventually overcome it.
Finally, we shouldn’t dismiss the techniques they will probably learn at school, or therapy advised by a doctor. Just as an aspirin can help with a headache, knowing how to breathe when you are anxious can help a young person face an exam. We are spiritual beings, but we are also biological systems and every little helps.
I have a Christian friend who teaches dance to young people. As exams and assessments approach, she receives a lot of calls from her students, ‘I can’t make the exam, I’ve got anxiety!’ they say. ‘Of course you are anxious’, she replies, ‘That is your mind gearing up to perform your best’. Then she encourages them, ‘Come to the assessment and put your anxiety into your art, use it to give the performance of your life!’ Very few students fail to turn up for their test and those who do are buzzing with joy afterwards. They have won a victory and now they are stronger, they are more resilient!