It is surprising how many people with no church background can quote the ‘Serenity Prayer” attributed to the German theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr; “God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other”
I can’t think of a wiser prayer in a world like ours where so much is beyond our control. It helps us to concentrate on what really matters; how we handle a crisis and how we can find peace. Yet the heart of that prayer can also work for anyone, even an atheist, in fact it is the first principle of a system of thought called Stoicism.
“The single most important practice in Stoic philosophy”, say Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman in The Daily Stoic, “Is differentiating between what we can change and what we can’t. What we have influence over and what we don’t”. It’s the same core idea as in Niebuhr’s prayer.
You may remember that the apostle Paul met and debated with Stoic philosophers in Athens (Acts 17:16-21). After this encounter, Christians would compete with Stoics for the affections of the Roman people for the next three centuries. The Christians won that contest, but Stoicism never really went away.
Today we are witnessing the return of popular Stoicism. Books applying Stoic thinking to modern life are popular, like Brigid Delaney’s Reasons not to Worry. “When life started changing rapidly – and fear was in the air – the ancient Greco-Roman philosophy proved to be a remarkably useful tool”, she writes, “ And much of their advice is as fresh today as it was in ancient times”.
Sales of the original stoic writers grew steadily during the pandemic. The writings of Seneca (a teacher), Epictetus (a slave) and Marcus Aurelius (an emperor) are now selling in the hundreds of thousands and their appeal is a wide as was their varied social backgrounds. It is such a pity they are not around to enjoy the royalties!
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), widely available on the NHS, is essentially the practical application of Stoic philosophy to the distorted thinking that makes people miserable. CBT helps silence some of the rubbish that goes ‘round and ‘round in our heads, the evidence says it can do people a lot of good.
On a quick comparison, Christian faith and Stoicism look very similar, both are concerned with virtuous living, both look for peace in turbulent times. But go a little deeper and they tell two very different stories. Stoics say, “You are on your own, but through a lifetime of struggle you may nurture the virtues that lead to peace”. The gospel says, “You are not alone, you have a brother, a saviour, the Lord of life and love – trust him, he will help you, he is our peace!”
I’m pretty sure that Christian faith triumphed in the ancient world because the friendship of a gracious God appealed more than the austere solitude of the Stoics. Modern Stoics are offering the ancient package, so are we, and it still compares badly with the grace of God in the gospel. We have a better story to tell, beautifully expressed in the whole of Reinhold Niebuhr’s prayer – not Stoic but Christian:
“God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things which should be changed,
and the wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.
Taking, as Jesus did,
this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.”