As a pastor, when I feel that someone is a bit stuck, I often refer people to a friend who has worked as a professional counsellor for several decades. Where I have been ineffective by listening or offering some biblical advice, my friend as often able to help them get un-stuck by asking the right questions and guiding them as they navigate the difficult landscape of their life.
Counselling is not new. The roman biographer, Plutarch, records that a Greek thinker called Antiphon “invented a method of curing distress, just as physicians have a treatment for those who are ill ; and at Corinth, fitting up a room near the agora, he wrote on the door that he could cure by words those who were in distress ; and by asking questions and finding out the causes of their condition he consoled those in trouble. But thinking this art was unworthy of him he turned to oratory.” This happened around 450BC!
Oratory, which is what preaching is, is a core activity in the churches, I am a preacher myself. Yet I know some preachers who would say, “You don’t need counselling, you just need the word of God!” Well, we would say that, wouldn’t we? Preaching can be helpful, but sometimes people need a one to one conversation.
Counselling usually focuses on specific problems and life challenges. It is a series of conversations with someone who is able to help you get through a phase in your life when you are feeling stuck. Maybe you need to understand something about yourself, or find a way through an emotional problem, or you have a decision to make. The right counsellor can be an enormous help.
But do you need a Christian counsellor?
Let’s think about what we mean by that phrase. All counselling is shaped by the world view of the counsellor. There are Christians who work within the same counselling models as their non-Christian colleagues; they are counsellors who also happen to be Christians. A lot of Christians, including the friend I have just mentioned, are drawn to this way of working.
Alongside this are schools of counselling practice that aim to be wholly Christian in their methodology. The Biblical Counselling movement are a good example; and they are serious about training and supporting their members.
A warning: If you are diagnosed with a mental health condition, counselling may be part of the mix of therapies that will help you. But some Christian ministries view themselves as alternatives to the mainstream. If a potential counsellor says to you, ‘Don’t see your doctor and don’t take any medicine’, walk away.
Christians often find it helpful and comforting to engage with a counsellor who shares their world view. Apart from anything else it saves a lot of explanation if spiritual issues are part of the problem. But don’t be closed to meeting with a professional who is not a Christian. Counsellors are trained to be non-judgemental and to help absolutely anyone navigate a tricky aspect of their lives.
So you have a choice, a counsellor who is a Christian, a counsellor who believes they are working with an entirely biblical model of counsel, or someone who is not a Christian at all. How do you feel about those options?
Did you see what I did there? I gave you options but did not tell you what to do! That is what a skilled counsellor will do, help you to identify the ways forward and hold your hand as you make a choice. A counsellor won’t solve your problem, only you can do that with God’s help.
However, I am going to give you one piece of advice. Make sure that your counsellor is accredited by a reputable organisation. There is no single body in the UK responsible for regulating all counsellors, but several bodies exist including the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society. Biblical Counselling UK seek to train and regulate Christian counsellors.
I occasionally become anxious in enclosed spaces. The result of a traumatic incident in my teens. I once shared this with a counsellor who listened carefully and then asked, “What is it that you are frighted of?”
In fifty years I had never asked myself this blindingly obvious question, yet the answer changed my whole perspective in my little phobia and, eventually, my life. This is what a gifted counsellor can do.
Helpful links:
Biblical Counselling UK – https://bcuk.org/about/finding-help/
British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy – https://www.bacp.co.uk
National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society – https://ncps.com